Destroy All Astromen!

1994

Estrus

A story of Intrigue, Lust and Exploration!

Reverb 10,000

1

02:09

The story opens finding our hero Jonny Q, trapped in the God-awful Caverns of Hell on Zanthrax Minor. Chased by demonic semi-sentient bromine-breathing buzz-bats in the dank, dripping darkness, he dashes ever deeper into the icy guts of the planet.

Name of Numbers

2

01:32

Shit, here they come again! Just when JQ thought he was safe from their slavering, razor-tooth equipped maws, the buzz-bats return! He leaps into a river of methane, and climbing aboard a slab of water ice, surfs through the blackness over the Cataracts of Lodore.

Popcorn Crabula

3

01:56

Finding relatively safe refuge at a beach of obsidian sand, our hero knows that he’s many kilometers beneath the surface, that he can’t get out the way he came in, no other options but to continue on.

A Mouthful Of Exhaust

4

01:57

JQ discovers a passage that looks fabricated - it leads into what looks like a ancient underground transport system! The atmosphere is toxic, with high concentrations of hydrogen sulfides and chlorides. He’s able to get one of the speeders running, and soon he’s whipping headlong through the darkness! More clips from Deathrace 2000 ( Todd Brockmeyer, tbrockme@niu.edu).

Of Sex and Demise

5

01:58

The speeder comes to a halt at a station - he’s in the middle of a soulless alien city, deep beneath the surface of Zanthrax Minor. He hits the pavement, strangely iridescent, pulsating with every step he takes. Almost like it’s alive.

Joker’s Wild

6

02:16

The Joker has escaped! Gotham is alert with dread, awaiting whatever fiendish plan he’s about to enact!

Intoxica

7

01:37

JQ catches a glimpse of someone or something - it’s a few hundred meters ahead, and seems to be able to stay ahead of him no matter how far he runs!

Mystery Meat

8

01:37

Meanwhile, back on the Cepherus, the robotic telereceptor has switched on for an unscheduled transmission from Earth - something’s afoot!

The Heavies (Let’s Surf the River of Blood)

9

01:41

Madness in the Streets

10

01:40

Espanto del Futuro

11

Mystery Science Theatre 3000 Love Theme

12

Landlocked

13

Bombora

14

Gargantua’s Last Stand

15

02:23

Delving further into the old newsrecords he’s found, he discovers a potential cause of the demise of this civilization - a giant monster that overwhelmed their defense forces!

You Can’t Get Good Riblets in Space

16

00:46

Bermuda Triangle Shorts

17

02:13

JQ leaves the archives, certain now of the aliens’ fate. But to where did they vanish? Why no sign of them but this vast underground city?

Taco Wagon

18

02:02

Jubilation! The aliens left behind a Rosetta Stone that not only gives him the knowledge to understand their written text, but to uncover their departure from the planet to escape the monsters that threatened them.

The Vortex Beyond

19

02:18

Climbing back into the speeder, he now knows the way back, through the blackness, at hypersonic velocities, to the surface!

Destination Venus

20

03:00

Time Bomb

21

06:10

Back in the Cepherus, confident with the knowledge of the demise of the lost civilization, he blasts off the surface of this God-awful planet of Doom, back to the blue-green world he left so long ago.